It all started when my friend Michael noticed the condition of my PT Cruiser's headlights. The covers have blurred from being abraded. I told him I was looking at a polishing service; he suggested I get some Bon Ami and do it myself. Comet or Ajax won't do, it has to be Bon Ami.
Great, just one problem:
I haven't been able to find a bottle of Bon Ami anyplace.
I've checked all of the Wally Worlds; there are
FIVE of them in the area. I've checked the Target superstore. I've gone to some of the Ace stores; those that still exist. I checked the local Kroger's; I've been in two of them so far and have seen at least one more in the distance. One of them was the Kroger's that my friend patronizes; I called him back and asked him. They've apparently stopped selling Bon Ami since he last bought a bottle. I checked the website; the closest place, it reports, where I can buy Bon Ami is at the True Value Hardware store in Fayetteville. That's in Tennessee, for those keeping score; about thirty miles away.
So, always up for an adventure, today I went up to Fayetteville. I get there and the place is packed with tourists and people in period costumes. Some sort of street festival is going on. I later learned that it was called The Hosts of Christmas Past. That's right, six weeks before Christmas. The period costumes reminded me of those worn by some sinister bunny dolls that a friend brought to a convention. I had to park a block and a half away from the hardware store. Was my quest successful? That would be a no.
Did somebody outlaw Bon Ami in 'Bama?
I can always buy some online, but it's the principle of the thing. I want to go to a store and walk in and buy a bottle of Bon Ami and walk out. Who knew it would be that hard?
There may actually be a store in Alabama that sells Bon Ami, but I've yet to find it.